Many of us have at some point or another felt self conscious and down on ourselves. We feel we could be smarter, slimmer, wealthier, funnier, more popular, better mother father or sibling and the list goes on.
How do confident people remain with their chin raised up high and just let things roll off their back? It comes from their connection to their internal Self and from a strong sense of self compassion.
It takes practice, and the process of learning to just be with yourself is the actual goal. We often aim to "get somewhere", to achieve the end result, to "gain the prize" and yes it's phenomenal to have goals and desires. However, if you lose all the lessons, experiences and ultimately yourself in the process you have lost the most priceless thing. Your connection to your higher Self which is the only place we attain ultimate freedom and joy.
Have you ever been engrossed in something you love so passionately that you lost all concept of time, space and fully remained present to the very moment of the experience? That is true freedom from suffering and pain. You are completely experiencing the moment, and you are connected with your heart and soul, and that is pure love in motion. I believe that is what the Buddhists call "Nirvana".
Being confident is related and comes from this inner space of love. You must respect and love yourself in order to project that outwardly to others, your work and your life path. It is from within that we create our external realities. Not the other way around.
6 ways to BOOST your Self Confidence:
1. Take CARE of yourself!
We invest our money with great care, we keep our new home clean and maintained, we cherish the blackberries, ipads, macs, and ipods as if they were our kids, we maintain cars better than our own bodies. It's really quite amazing how much we neglect our own selves in an effort to increase our status and hopefully gain other's approval. Eat a clean and healthy diet free of sugars, excess fats, processed junk and fast food poisons. Go to the gym, or climb, ride, run and hike. Just move and feel the power and strength in your body. Get to sleep at a decent hour, and get at least 7 hours a night. Pray, meditate and give of yourself to those in need. What you put into yourself is what you will be able to offer back to others.
2. Be aware of your body language:
Do you slump when you sit or stand? Do you give half dead handshakes? Do you hold your head up, shoulders straight and look others in the eyes when you are conversing? All these things affect your confidence. Bad posture is not only bad for your spine, but it also does not allow you to share your positive vibrant energy with others. In yoga practice we are repeatedly asked to open the shoulders, and heart centre in every pose. We are thus "allowing" and not closed off to the world or our interaction with another or ourselves.
3. Surround yourself with ADDITIONS:
For some of you that know me personally, you've heard me say this way too many times than you think is necessary. One more time won't hurt. Who you surround yourself with will either add to your life or be a subtraction. Surround yourself with people who value the same core values you hold. Surround yourself with people who are passionate in their own lives about their loves. Surround yourself with people who aren't afraid of being themselves and don't need to fake it to gain acceptance. Surround yourself with people who strive to better themselves, give from their hearts, and really give a dam about others. You don't need drama queens, victims, pessimistic and constantly negative people around you. They become your ENERGY vampires.
4. Focus on Solutions:
We often get caught up in the negative circumstance at hand. That gets us no where. Focus on what you can do to change, or improve something. If you feel out of shape and body conscious start to develop a real plan to overhaul your daily habits. You have to really want to change in order to see things improve in your life. Too many times we give up on our ourselves because we allow our minds to convince us we're not good enough. Tell it take a hike, and then take ACTION , with baby steps to achieve want you want in life. You are worth it, and if you don't believe that with every ounce of your being, you will forever struggle to achieve anything you desire in life.
5. Increase Competence and Knowledge:
There is always room to learn something new, or expand on your current skill set. The caveat here is to do this with the intention of improving something you love, and are passionate about. Not to acquire another badge or trophy so you can impress mom. Learn from reading books, interacting with people in your career field or network, collaborating with your community or taking a course. If you are a writer and want to gain more competence in this arena , simply keep the seat of your pants on the seat of your chair. Practice whatever it is you want to improve in your life.
6. Gratitude and use that killer smile as often as you can:
Gratitude is by far one of the most healing, and positive generating emotions we can have. We can easily lose sight of all the phenomenal abundance already present in our lives. We can take for granted that we can walk, see, talk, and eat without assistance. We can forget how much freedom we have living in a 1st world country that honours free speech and all human rights and freedoms. When we keep complaining about what it is "wrong" in our lives we fail to see all that is "right" beautiful and truly amazing in our lives. Shift your focus, and you instantly shift your personal vibration. Try this out. Just smile more. It's simple really. Smile for no reason at all. Then smile for all the numerous things that are awesome in your life. We all have them. Its just our choice to see them.
Head up, shoulders strong and strut like you own the world ;) The only person you need to convince is yourself. Eventually you'll believe how great you already are ;)