Osho is one of my great inspirations, as his work is profoundly insightful and universally relevant to all people. He is one of the few mystics that didn't claim guru status or claimed he was divinely sent here.
In a discussion he gave, he mentioned an interesting way to process one's own anger. He told a story about a man who told his son to wait 24 hours before reacting to someone who instilled anger within him. After waiting 24 hours, he was told to just say and respond with whatever came to him in that moment.
Just think about that.
What if one waited 24 hours before lashing out on their spouse because they forgot to take out the garbage? What if one waited 24 hours before taking it out on the kids because they had a brutal day at work? What if one waited 24 hours before insulting, belittling, or throwing something back at another's face out of irrational anger ? What if we waited even 2 minutes before lashing out on restaurant server because they may have mistaken our order?
I bet the response would be quite a distinctly less abrasive one. Perhaps 24 hours would allow one to remember we all are human and capable of making mistakes. Perhaps 24 hours would allow one to access their compassionate muscles and clearly yet kindly state how they felt hurt or what they couldn't accept from the other. More significantly, maybe 24 hours would allow someone to remember they too could have done the same thing, given the same situation and that perhaps the other didn't harbour malicious intentions against them to begin with.
Give it a go.
Next time someone fails to meet your "expectations", or you feel angered by what they said or didn't say or what they did or didn't do, wait 24 hours before doing or saying anything. This may take quite some effort if you typically are one to instantly rage back. You may feel this may weaken you or create the doormat stance, but essentially you are empowering yourself instead of giving it away to the other.
Here's why:
The moment you lash out, or react to another you have communicated out of your Ego and thus your smaller self. You have signalled to the other that they have the power to trigger you and set you off your balance.
The more core connected you are, the greater is your sense of self esteem, power and worth. When you stray from that center, you actually become weak and operate from a place of fear. Anyone who is angry, is actually a very scared person. It's a method of compensating to hide that internal insecurity they are so vehemently trying to deny.
24 hours may give you the time to take some deep breaths, feel the compassion within you and ultimately operate through the love in your heart. Which is essentially the answer to all of our suffering.
What a world it would be if we even just took a moment to stop, and take a full breath before jumping the gun. Perhaps love would be given the space to come through and heal the hurt. Perhaps we might discover how possible it is to let go and let love do its job.
In health always,
Piera
Namaste
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